On Christmas Eve of 2009, we delivered our twin daughters at 28 weeks. If you’re doing some quick math in your head, you know that’s roughly 12 weeks before the normal 40-week full-term pregnancy. Our little stinkers decided to make their presence known at a whopping 2 pounds, 11 ounces, and 2 pounds, 13 ounces, and on one of the most-celebrated holiday in the U.S., because, you know, that’s how they roll.
As we’ve gotten to know them these last six years, it now seems quite fitting that they made such a dramatic arrival because they are full of all of the tenacity you might expect. Their spirits light up a room when they walk in, and we’re pretty certain that at least one (if not both) of them will be a lawyer or politician. To put it simply, we have more than a few gray hairs to show for their years with us and, we would not have it any other way.
But in those early Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) days, we were uncertain about their future. We looked at frail bodies and worried, a lot. We tried to focus on each day in isolation, because there were so many unknowns.
When your babes are in the NICU, you learn to celebrate the smallest of milestones because they build up to the biggest moment — going home. It’s those unsung milestones that help tick away the time and lift you up as you look towards the days when you will hopefully leave those monitors and doctors behind for good.
Here are 15 milestones that carried us through 11 weeks in the NICU:
1. Meeting our girls for the first time: We weren't able to see our girls until hours after the birth, in the NICU. They had to stabilize and, so did I. Each scenario is different. In my case, I had an emergency c-section during which I was put to sleep. So I didn't get to hear how our twins' birth went or see them until many hours later. To say the sight of them was emotional is an understatement.
2. Touch time: For those of us who have spent significant time in the NICU, especially early weeks where you cannot take your child out of their isolette, "touch time" is all we get as we wait for our babies to get stronger. These are scheduled times where you can lift the blanket up off the isolette, and place your hands on your baby. No rubbing or stroking so you aren't stimulating the baby too much. This is our oldest daughter doing touch time.
3. Making progress with breathing on their own: When your child is born as early as our twins were, they are often in need of breathing assistance. When they begin doing more breathing work on their own it's a moment to celebrate. It means they are making progress.
4. Helping siblings understand: Bringing our then 4-year-old to see her sisters was a difficult milestone. She could tell they weren't well and, for us, it was another moment when we had to carefully discuss the uncertainty of their well-being.
5. Saying "hello" for the first time: This was one of the best moments of our NICU stay: holding my girls for the first time. It was about one week after their birth. The nurses tucked them right into my top, they were that small.
6. Diaper duty for the first time: We didn't get to do much for our girls while they were in the NICU. It was a lot of sitting, watching, and simply being present. So when they asked if I wanted to change a diaper, I was all in. The nurse walked me through the process which wasn’t the same as your normal newborn. We could only use water and soft cloth to clean the baby due to their delicate skin at that time. The diaper was so tiny. We still have two little Swaddlers that we kept for their baby books so they can get a sense of just how tiny they were back then. The notation on this photo says, "Mommy changing Madison's VERY poopy diaper.” I'm sure I was in parenting heaven.
7. When the family is all together, at last: This was our first family photo together, an image we will always cherish.
8. The twins are together again, for the first time since birth: Not long after holding each of my girls individually, they set it up so I could do kangaroo care with both girls at the same time because there are studies that show twins do well when they get time back together. Notice their hands?
9. No more naked baby: One of the things that we take for granted with full-term babies is that they come home fully dressed, ready to roll. With preemies, they have to learn to regulate their body temperature. Once they do that, only then are they allowed to start wearing clothing in the NICU. This is a big day for parents because it means they are closer to coming home and we get to help care for them more each day.
10. Regulating body temperature like a champ: During this test, the isolette's top is opened. If babies can keep their temperature regulated without the help of the isolette and while clothed, then they can go into a regular crib. It's a pinky toe out the hospital door and, in our case, Charlotte and Madison's reward was to sleep in a crib together.
11. Sleepover with twin sister: They made it into a crib together! No more isolette. How sweet were they? This was a big milestone for them and of course, we loved the change.
12. No more brain scans: Preemies are prone to brain bleeds. Until you get the all-clear, preemie parents hold their breath. We had two scans and each time, we got lucky. We know not all parents have that same outcome, so we count our lucky stars and it is a milestone we are thankful for hitting without a hitch.
13. No more breathing assist, celebrate with a proper bath: Remember when changing a diaper was a big deal for me early on in our stay? A bath was a huge milestone. This was days before we were to leave. She had no breathing assistance on anymore and we were almost out of there, a huge deal for us both. She was super happy at that moment, can you tell?
14. Carseat test time: All NICU parents know about the dreaded car seat test to see if the baby experiences any breathing or heart episodes. In our case, one of our girls failed the test the first time. I'm pretty sure I cried when that happened. At that point, we had been in the hospital for nearly four months, it was a last-straw kind of moment. But, the girls pulled it out the second time and we got to go home.
15. Sleepover with Mom and Dad means we go home tomorrow: Rooming-in without any monitors, bells, or whistles was our final step to blowing that pop stand. The docs and nurses wanted to make sure we didn't have any final needs before we were sent to handle life on our own. I remember watching other families room-in throughout the months we were in the NICU, knowing that one day we would make it there. This was our day and I was so grateful to be taking our babies home after such a long, long journey.
What would you add to this list from your time in the NICU?
Share with usWishing you love, sleep, & play. Pampers. This post is sponsored by Pampers.
