Breastfeeding isn’t always easy.
I learned this first-hand when my daughter was just hours old. During my pregnancy, I’d thought a lot about childbirth, about taking care of a newborn, about lack of sleep and diaper changes. I’d thought about breastfeeding, too, but in a broad sense. I guess I figured we’d both just know what to do. After all, I’d seen videos of newborns crawling to their mothers’ breasts to nurse all on their own. How hard could it be?
As it turns out, pretty hard.
She wailed as she struggled to latch, and I fumbled awkwardly as I tried to help her. We were both in tears by the time the lactation consultant arrived at our hospital room door.
Armed with a syringe and a tiny plastic cup, she showed me how to manually express colostrum and feed it to my baby girl, drop by drop. It was a painstakingly slow process, and at the time seemed sort of ridiculous. I had seen all the images of new moms peacefully nursing their sleepy babies, and none of them looked like this.
That was so long ago, and so much of motherhood has happened since – first solids, first steps, first days of school. Those early hours on the maternity ward seem like a lifetime ago. They rushed back to me, though, thanks to this beautiful portrait I saw posted on Instagram by @carriagehousebirth.
The mother in this photo is Rebecca McKeever, a birth and postpartum doula from Brooklyn, New York who welcomed her first child, a girl named Andeomeda, just last month.
“I wasn’t expecting to syringe feed either,” Rebecca admits. “We were sitting in our postpartum recovery room, struggling to latch cause she was so sleepy, when the hospital Lactation consultant walked in. She saw that I was expressing colostrum and immediately brought in cups and syringes. It felt so good and empowering to get to feed my baby, even though it wasn’t at the breast.”
I love this answer, and I’m thankful to Rebecca for sharing such an intimate image. It’s a beautiful reminder to all of us moms to let go of some of our expectations.
As a doula, Rebecca is incredibly knowledgeable about nursing and caring for a new baby, but she says even she got caught got up in the pressure to do everything right.
“I started to get really goal-oriented and worried about how long she was eating each feed,” she recalls. “I was reading all these different things on the internet about how often and long she should be eating and really stressing out.”
She eventually found a way to just follow her instincts instead.
“I tried putting down my clock for an hour and it was the most she ever ate! At day 10 she was super awake and feeding has been less of a struggle since then. She’s doing great! I am so proud of her!”
As a nervous new mom who felt desperate to do things “by the book,” Rebecca’s story definitely hits home for me.
Birth and breastfeeding and motherhood isn’t always going to look exactly like it does in the baby books. Our stories aren’t always going to sound like the ones we’ve been told in the past. But they are every bit as valid, and they deserve to be celebrated.
Can you relate to this photo, too?
Real moms tell the true story of breastfeeding:
(@raelynramey) Those close to me know how difficult this journey has been. Between having to use a nipple shield, sns, pumping a ton, lip and tongue tie, latch issues, high arched palate, and weight issues, it's been a very emotional experience so far filled with sleepless nights. There are times I get inside my own head thinking about what is wrong with me that I can't provide or comfort my own child like I should be. How this is something that's suppose to come naturally. So why not for me? Still yet, I can't bring myself to give up. Though I have many days I so want to. But then there are those moments where she will look at me and smile and then go back to eating. My heart melts and reminds me that this is all worth it. [...]
(@johannakingphotography) 17 months of breastfeeding. Wow. If you told me that when I had her! I am one of those mum who just started to breastfeed a newborn and this newborn turned into a baby and then into a toddler and it just never seemed the right time to stop.
I am proud of myself. Not for breastfeeding that long, but for not letting anybody else decide for us when it was time to stop. Whatever you decide to do when it comes to your motherhood journey, look for the answer in your heart. Choose what's best for you and your baby. Don't let other people, or the society dictate what you should be doing. You are the mother. You know. If you're not sure, try and see.
This picture is not a statement. It's not "against" something. It's not "pro" something. I'm just trying to do my part towards normalising breastfeeding. That's it. I am breastfeeding a 17-month-old. And it's normal. Just normal.
(@nikki_bones24) One of the best days ever and as busy and crazy as it was I still found a moment to nurse my little man. This photo was snapped over 11 months ago and it is one of my favorites. Here we are almost a year later and we're still breastfeeding. My son isn't "too old" to get love, comfort, and nutrition from his momma the only way he's ever known how to- no matter what anyone thinks. I will not force my child to wean, I will let it take place on its own terms and naturally. I am a proud breastfeeder today and everyday and support all the other mommas out there doing their best for their children. [...]
(@atribecalledali) In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I share with you my journey. 2.5+ years and counting. This is what my early evenings look like when I come home from work. This is how I know they've missed me. Sometimes, my skin feels like nails on a chalkboard with aversion towards my toddler. But that's a temporary feeling. This is the journey I chose, and I'm not stopping anytime soon.
(@1insta.jenn) Happy World Breastfeeding week. Today I will attend my 7th big latch on! It's been a journey for sure but I'm grateful I had the support and ability to feed my babies. (Photo credit: @bloomphotographynz)
(@twodarlingdaughters) My 1st ever breastfeeding photo :) And what better time to post it than World Breastfeeding Week 2016.
(@organizedstyles) It's comforting to know that my body is a safe place for my baby. Even after rough nights with little sleep and lots of tears (from both of us), there is something about me that can calm my sad baby. I never truly understood the nursing bond between a mother and her child until I had Judah. It's a powerful thing to be able to not only nourish, but to also nurture. I'm thankful for our sweet connection and I cherish these moments we share, even if it means never leaving this spot.
(@jessiechuaa) Breastfeeding has been such an incredible journey. The initial weeks had me feeling emotionally down and physically really sore. Each night felt like an eternity. Now, 6 months on, some nights still feel like forever, especially if baby boss decides to sleep with his arms wide open, but we have both gotten so much better at breastfeeding and it's indeed second nature now. I wouldn't trade this precious bond for anything else, even if it means being a trained ninja having to try putting him down in his cot, or getting pins and needles in my butt from sitting around while nursing. Seeing this boy grow (more than triple his birth weight!) makes it all worthwhile. 28 weeks and going strong.
(@mullattachica) Buenos Dias #worldbreastfeedingweek
(@dariastonem) an excuse to be courageous/outrageous and post this sticky summer photo for #worldbreastfeedingweek and oh, let me tell you something about judging others: growing up I experienced friends shaming moms for publicly breastfeeding. god, can't she cover herself up, or go to the toilet, I'm eating here, I don't wanna look at those old mama titties. this seemed like a totally logical thought to me, so that's how I carried on thinking. fast forward, 10 years later, I'm a mama, with old mama titties myself, I've seen some shit, and I feel ashamed for having been young and ignorant, but I suppose we all were about something. I hope these mamas didn't care as much as I don't care now. [...]
(@kaitiebaker) I'm pretty sure breastfeeding is my favorite thing about having babies. Even the midnight feedings. I'm so grateful to have exclusively breastfed all of my babies. And I really love helping new mamas learn how to breastfeed.
(@dre.rose) This is life. Giving. Sustaining. It is a sacrifice of body, time, energy. It is a sacred bond of love, comfort, home. Nurse on, mamas. It is difficult and worth it.
(@_feleciaxoxo) When mama has to shop but Bubba wants to eat!
(@bryttany.hyde) “A mother’s love is whole no matter how many times it’s divided.” (Photo credit: @capturedbycahillphotography)
(@hanamik) Nothing better than mama milk for my sick baby. So thankful I can still provide the best for her while I rest on the couch (because of course I'm sick at the same time).
(@cargo_creative) GRATEFUL. At the end of every day, I give thanks and pray for another day allowing me to provide for my baby girl and to continue to share this special bond. Happy #worldbreastfeedingweek mamas!
(@babyscooty) The only way restytime had any chance of happening today... #normalizebreastfeeding #extendedbreastfeeding
(@mummufrog_bod) Taken on our wedding day earlier this year, our little 7 week old bub needed a feed mid photo shoot so what else would I do but feed him! This is just a natural magical moment I treasure so much. (Photo credit:@danskphotography)
(@alexlaigle) #worldbreastfeedingweek thank you @the_kama_photography for this beautiful shot!
Photo: REX USA
