Dear every kid (and parent), write a darn thank you note!
Because I just spent $20, $30 or more on a birthday gift for you (or your child) after you invited mine to your birthday party. And I expect a thank you note, darn it!
Oh, should I have warned you there was a rant ahead?
My bad.
It’s just that I’ve had enough of budgeting $100 a month for kids’ birthday party gifts, and never receiving so much as one thank you note. Yes, apparently there’s been a run on birthday parties in which the entire class is invited, but a severe shortage of thank you cards at the store.
What? Every stationary shop in the world didn’t stop printing thank you cards, you say? So parents can actually still buy them?
So basically it’s laziness, rudeness, and entitlement that is preventing kids old enough to write, and parents of kids who can’t yet write, from taking a few minutes out of their day to say “thank you” for a gift I took time out of my life to purchase, and wrap?
Oh.
Incidentally, that gift also cost me money. Money that I earned. So I find it highly offensive when I don’t receive a thank you note. Think about it this way: Just as you expect us to bring a gift to your birthday party, I expect the courtesy of a thank you.
And no, Emily Post didn’t call from mid-last century asking for her lesson in etiquette back. Manners aren’t dead! Not to me. While certain things can stay back in the 1950s, like women being thought of merely as housewives who should wait at home for their husbands to return from work, having spent all day preparing dinner, cocktail in hand for him, manners must not be swept under the sustainable rug in the age of social media and texting.
So no, a text thank you is not adequate. I didn’t text you a gift. Just as a pre-printed message attached to my child’s goody bag that says, “Thanks for attending Emma’s birthday party and for her gift!” is not enough. It’s actually really tacky if you ask me, because it’s 100 percent impersonal.
Instead, consider the one time a friend of my daughter’s took the time to write a thank you note to her, and listed every item we bought, and why she liked it. Now that stands out in my mind as a shining example of the right way to express gratitude for a gift.
But maybe I’m alone in my dismay at the current state of parents teaching their kids to say “thank you” for things. Perhaps instilling appreciation and politeness in children ranks pretty low on the list of attributes parents want kids to have.
If that’s the case, stop throwing over-the-top birthday parties. Or explain on the invitation that you aren’t accepting birthday gifts because you have no plans to say thanks.
What do you think? Is is mandatory to send a thank you note for a birthday party gift, or completely unnecessary?
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