I like to be helpful, when I can. And in the spirit of helpfulness, I’m going to assist you in not getting egged this Halloween.
All year long kids get lectured by their parents to eat their veggies and to go to bed on time and to wear normal boring clothes. They get one day. One day when most of that is thrown out the window and they can revert back to being feral animals loosen up and really enjoy being a kid.
And then they get this guy, who insists he’s passing out toothpaste for Halloween. Good luck with that, buddy. Now they all know where you live.
The following are actual things my children, or those of my friends, have gotten for Halloween. And the kids ain’t havin’ it.
Don't pass out toothpaste. Don't be this guy. I think he may have been trying to be funny, but that's a risky move for a coupla laughs. Toothpaste is hard to scrub off after it's been squirted all over your house by irate children.
No, no, no. Toothbrushes are banned, too. My kids got toothbrushes last year. Whyyyy?
Also banned? Catalogues for your MLM business. My children each got their own makeup catalogue, along with a business card for the lady down the street who sells it. My four-year old doesn't want makeup catalogues, I promise.
Pennies. Stahhhhp with the pennies. Pennies are the gift of people who forgot it was Halloween and searched their change jar. It's ok. Just turn out your lights, pretend you're not home, and save the kids the walk up your driveway.
My husband worked with a lady who gave out kale chips one year and who is, frankly, very lucky she didn't spend three days scrubbing eggshell off her windows.
Religious tracts. I'm a churchgoing girl who will talk to you all day long about how I love Jesus, but when kids are expecting candy and you hand them a religious tract? Your message is shot. Also you don't get to hand them out when you're the meanest house on the block.
Fruit. There may still be areas where you can freely pass out apples to strangers, but most of us are suspicious. Besides, no one wants fruit on Halloween. The rest of the year is for fruit. Halloween is for candy.
What’s the strangest thing your kids have gotten in their trick-or-treat bags?
CommentsFor more kids’ activities and easy recipes, you can find Laura at Peace but not Quiet, and on facebook and Pinterest.
