Patton Oswalt is known for his effortless comedic talents on shows like “The Goldbergs” and “King of Queens.” He’s also the voice of Remy in Disney’s animated film “Ratatouille.” But, his real life role of being a dad has required a lot more effort than usual, after losing his wife six months ago.
Patton describes true crime writer, Michelle McNamara’s death as the second worst day of his life: “The worst is when I told my daughter the next day,” he said.
He opened up to the New York Times about the tragedy and described how he’s managed to keep her memory alive with their 7-year-old daughter, Alice Rigney Oswalt.
Oswalt found his 46-year-old wife still sleeping after returning home from dropping Alice off at school. He then went to his home office to answer emails. It was the same day the news broke that legendary singer Prince had suddenly died.
After sending out a bunch of tweets, he returned to the couple’s bedroom and realized that McNamara was no longer breathing.
“I was literally blinking trying to get out of this,” he recalled.
According to the New York Times, the coroner’s office still has not declared a cause of death. But, Oswalt said it might have had something to do with the medication she took.
“I have a feeling it might have been an overdose,” he said, citing the Xanax. “That’s what the paramedics there were saying while I was screaming and throwing up.”
Picking up the pieces hasn’t been easy for Oswalt, but he wants to remain strong for his wife and their daughter. Now his mission is to keep her memory alive.
Since her death, the 47-year-old dad has made it ritual to sit with his daughter every night and write down three things they remember about her.
“It keeps this living portrait of her,” he told the New York Times.
According to child development expert Dr. Deborah Gilboa, Oswalt’s ritual is the healthiest thing for Alice right now. “Over time, her memories will fade, and there is guilt and uncertainty associated with that,” she said. “This gives [Alice] something that lasts.”
I’ve always heard that talking is the best therapy, especially when it comes to a sudden loss. In fact, that’s how I’ve been able to cope with tragic circumstances in general. Our daughter was just an infant when her Grandfather died.
We’ve managed to keep his memory alive by telling her stories about him. To this day, she cries for her Granddad. But, finds solace in seeing photos of him. It’s as if they’ve had this unbreakable bond, even though they only met on one occasion.
Our family tragedy has reinforced that tomorrow isn’t promised. It’s tough to imagine our children losing us. But, it can happen when least expected. That’s part of the reason why I started blogging and vlogging. We want to keep our family legacy alive no matter what happens.
As for Oswalt and his family, my heart goes out to them. The actor comedian also said he plans to finish the book that McNamara was working on when she died.
What do you think about Patton Oswalt’s ritual? How do you keep a loved one’s memory alive?
CommentsPhotos: Prphotos and Stacy-Ann Gooden
Stacy-Ann Gooden (aka Weather Anchor Mama) can be seen delivering the weather forecast on the news in New York City. But her most important role is being a wife and mom. She writes about balancing career and motherhood in her blog, Weather Anchor Mama. You can also follow her on twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.
