Fussy, cranky, difficult, demanding — if you have a “high needs” infant, you definitely know it. Your newborn is noticeably less content than other babies, and traditional soothing methods work poorly if at all.
My own high needs newborn needed to be held 24/7. She’d panic at the mere suggestion of being lowered. Babywearing and co-sleeping kept her beautiful crib un-touched, while her father slept on the couch for three months straight.
Nine months later, my daughter is significantly happier although she remains distinctly demanding. We’ve moved past worries about reflux or allergies and embraced labels like “spirited” and “expressive.” And while I still gaze at peaceful, pacifier’d infants with equal parts confusion and envy, I’ve come to appreciate the benefits of my “fussy baby” and the perfect parts of our imperfect situation.
- Co-sleeping allows my daughter to nurse throughout the night, helping me maintain a strong milk supply, saving us money and worry.
- When your baby is a highly active, highly vocal, light sleeper, you rarely get the opportunity to worry about SIDS.
- Babywearing is amazing for my daughter’s development and I simply wouldn’t be doing it if it wasn’t required.
- I don’t think I knew what “lift with your legs” really meant until I had to bend with a sleeping baby strapped to my chest. This knowledge — coupled with increased core strength — could save my back from future injury.
- I get to celebrate my daughter’s developmental milestones with absolutely no melancholy. I don’t care that I might be “losing my baby” — the more independent she gets, the happier she is.
- At the same time, I think I actively appreciate my fussy baby more than I might a more low-maintenance infant. Every night I nuzzle her head while nursing nursing her to sleep (cuddled together on her Montessori bed).
- I wouldn’t even know what “Montessori” was if it weren’t for the fact I have a high needs baby.
- I get to donate our crib, swing, and bouncy chair to another expectant couple. I know now, even if we have a second kid, all the gadgets are just optional.
- I also am certain, now more than ever, that my husband and I can do absolutely anything.
- Our nursery has been dismantled. We all sleep together on a mattress on the floor. I walk around, half exposed, a voracious child strapped to my chest. This is not how I dreamed my family would look, but I’ve come to accept it’s ok to be different. My daughter will be different, in good ways and bad — but which is which is not for me to decide. And if I can get practice accepting her now, hopefully I’ll be better at accepting her when she’s grown.
