When I tell people I have four kids I typically get two kinds of reactions: pity, or shock that I don’t look haggard and spend my day rocking in the corner. There seems to be a bit of a stigma surrounding families that have more than two kids, but I am here to tell you that it is not that horrible… and dare I say, it’s pretty great.
I always wanted four kids, I was one of four and it was all I knew. But after having two, (not very easy at first) kids, I was starting to reconsider. My husband, who also dreamed of a larger family convinced me to just take a break for a while and see how we felt. We did just that and eventually I realized that our family wasn’t done. We would have one more.
Little did I know that I would never experience having three kids, because we got two for one… twins.
Four kids. It’s a lot. I will be the first to say it. I even turn to my husband some days and ask him, half jokingly, “why did we have so many kids?” But when I think back, I know that four has been easier than one, or even two, and here’s why…
1. Your kids are less demanding. My first two kids can tend to expect things to happen when they want it. It's my fault really. When it was just the two of them I would give in to a bit of whining and offer them other food if they didn't like what was for dinner. But once the number of children I had to feed doubled, that was no longer an option. Our twins seemed to get the memo when they were still in the womb, because they are the most patient and least demanding kids I have ever met. Our older two had to quickly adjust to the harsh reality of being part of a large family pretty quick, and occasionally test the waters. But for me, this take it, or leave it attitude has been a lot less work and something I wish I had done from the moment I became a mother.
2. You stop setting yourself up for failure. Before having four kids I was constantly trying to be a hero. I would try to go out all the time with our kids and take everyone up on their invitation. But I would often push the limits of naps and bedtimes and head home with an over-tired child and my nerves fried. One of the first things that you notice when you have four kids is you are not invited over to people's homes as much. Hey, I get it, who wants a busload of kids in their home? Playdates often occur in our house, or on neutral territory which makes keeping to schedules a little easier. Overall we don't go out as much. But that's okay, which brings me to point number 3...
3. You don't have to rely on playdates for your kids to socialize. I think this is not only my favourite part about having four kids, but it was also my favourite part of being one of four kids. You always have built-in playmates. Those weekends when my husband and I are just too exhausted to host anyone ends up working out just fine. We send our brood out into the backyard and they have a blast playing with each other. As our kids are getting older, I am noticing more and more that when we go to someone else's home who also has kids, they tend to stick to their siblings for the most part, despite having new kids to play with. I remember finding comfort in an unfamiliar situation by staying close to my sister and brothers as well. It warms my heart to watch.
4. You cut out the unnecessary noise. Don't get me wrong, having four kids is very noisy. What I mean is, you cut out a lot of the worry and the guilt. When we had our first child, not only did we put him under a microscope, but we even put ourselves under one. I would torture myself over every decision and feel guilty if there was a lull and I wasn't reading him a book. When our second was born, a lot of that noise went out the window. But with four, you not only become extremely decisive and efficient, you even realize that it is okay to carve time out for you too.
You can read more our family on my personal blog, Nesting Story. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram and our vlogs on YouTube.
