If you’ve ever had the pleasure of taking two or more young children to a store, you know it can either be: A) Challenging, or B) A complete nightmare.
Single mom of two, Aly Bothers, recently experienced the latter. Her raw, now-viral Facebook post will leave you nodding your head, crying alongside her and wanting to give her a big hug. Because we’ve all been there.
It all started innocently enough when Bothers realized they were out of milk. She decided to make a quick run to the grocery store with her two sons in tow. Little did this mom know the chaos awaiting her that morning.
“My youngest cried almost the entire time we were in the store. He didn’t want to sit in the cart, he didn’t want to be buckled, he wanted to hold all the groceries on his lap. He got mad. He threw his shoe, he threw my wallet, he threw the three groceries that did fit on his lap. And he cried. And people stared. That was fine, I could handle that. My three year old wanted to be superman and stand on the cart. That was fine. I told him to hold on and stand straight. He did not. He fell off, he leaned backwards and knocked things off their displays. He leaned back and bumped a stranger. Then I made him get down and he walked too far ahead of me and opened all the freezer section doors telling me all the things he wanted to get. I tried to handle that. I stopped multiple times and composed myself and my children.”
“The people in line behind me glared. The cashier glared. Everyone’s eyes were on me as if to say “can’t you control your own children.” One older gentleman whispered, “she’s pretty young for two kids” and I lost it. She handed me my receipt and I cried. They don’t know me. They don’t know me as a mother. They don’t know my children. They don’t know I was married before I started a family. They don’t know I left that marriage because of abuse knowing I would have it just as hard as a single mother. It’s hard people. The glares and whispers and judgments are hard. Sometimes I can control my children and sometimes I can’t. Sometimes they listen and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes I can handle it and sometimes I break down.”
Brothers ended her post with a touching call to action. It’s something we can all keep in mind the next time we see a child having a rough time in public: Be kind.
“If you see a parent struggling, if you see a kid throwing a tantrum, if you see a mom on the verge of tears … please say something nice. Please don’t glare with judgement. And to all moms out there having a day like mine … I see you, I know you, I love you. You are strong and you are doing just fine.”
(Click here to read Brothers’ moving post in its entirety.)
Confession: I’ve been in this mama’s shoes before while out with my own three children. And you know what? Strangers glaring while I’m trying to keep it together never helps. The thing is, pre-kid me used to be the one judging parents of unruly children. Now I’m the one in the thick of public meltdowns. (Karma, man.) We need to be each others’ cheerleaders and learn to give kids (and parents) the benefit of the doubt without judgement.
Thank you, Aly, for this important reminder.
Featured photo via iStock
What do you think this mom’s post? Have you ever felt judged while your child was having a rough time in public?
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