Despite having what both parties have described as an “amicable” divorce, Nick Cannon has a bone to pick with how he’s described post-split from Mariah Carey. Specifically, he takes issue with how his role as a father is now spoken of differently.
The 35-year-old, who is father to 5-year-old twins Moroccan and Monroe with the singer, has opened up about the most frustrating part of their divorce.
On Monday, the America’s Got Talent host said one of the most “f–ked up” parts of it all is that spending time with his children now has the label of “visitation.” During an interview on The Howard Stern Show, he stated the label doesn’t feel fair to himself or other fathers in similar situations.
“It’s kind of f–ked up when time with your kids is considered visitations,” Nick said. “It’s unfair to the fathers in the situation. I’m just keeping it real…That’s pain, right there.”
The issue of wording aside, Nick Cannon sounds like the dad most kids can only dream of having.
“Everything shuts down when I’m with my kids,” he explained. “It’s their time [and] my house is like a big fun house. I have a candy store and slides…We’re just playing the whole time. But I’m also the most stern. I’m the disciplinarian, 100-percent. They know dad don’t play.”
As for his ex, who is now engaged to a very wealthy businessman, Nick shared, “Mariah and I are super cool. We talk every day…To see her happy is outstanding. I love it! I salute them. I respect it,” he added with a laugh. “I wish all my exes [found] billionaires!”
Although I’m still married (coming up quickly on 14 years — holy moly), I can imagine having your role as a parent being demoted to “visitation” would sting. Sure, it’s just a word, but the associations with words can mean a lot.
In recent years we’ve seen Gwyneth Paltrow “consciously uncouple,” and Jewel go through a “tender undoing of ourselves” rather than “divorce” — plus Gwen Stefani struggle with losing her kids half the time after her husband cheated. Heck, even non-famous couples are taking divorce selfies with smiles.
I don’t want to appear to be cheering for couples and families to split, but if that’s what needs to happen why make it harder on those involved than necessary? Those going through other life events have worked hard to change the terminology describing them (babies are “placed” for adoption rather than “given up”), and I get the sense the time is coming to respect dads like Nick still as real dads — not just people getting “visitation.”
Is it time we rework the language surrounding divorce, co-parenting and visitation time? Do the particulars of semantics bother you, or not so much?
Weigh inPhotos: PR Photos
Nick Cannon is now rumored to be dating TLC’s Chilli. Here’s a look at what other stars have had to say about finding love again post-divorce:
Despite her 2013 split from husband Orlando Bloom, Miranda Kerr insists, "You can't close yourself off from love. I try to keep my heart open and not feel afraid."
Speaking of their son Flynn, who turned 5 in 2015, the model mom went on to say, "[Orlando and I decided] that we had to know the person for six months and feel good about them. [My new boyfriend] Evan [Spiegel] met Flynn, so yeah, things are going well. Orlando thinks he's great. We're just a modern family now!"
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After 11 years of marriage and three children together, Peter Facinelli filed for divorce from Jennie Garth, and it's safe to say she had no clue where to begin rebuilding her love life.
"The minute I think I’m ready to start dating I’m like, 'Oh no you’re not,'" she admitted in 2012. "I just don't know how to date."
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"It was hard to imagine I would ever walk down the aisle again," Jessica Simpson said in 2009 of her divorce from Nick Lachey. "It was like a death in the family: You go through the mourning stage, then the rebellion, and then all of a sudden you have to find life by yourself. Once you do that, you feel complete -- and that’s the only time you can truly fall in love again, and give yourself over completely to another person."
The singer and husband Eric Johnson, who wed in 2014, are now parents to daughter Maxwell and son Ace.
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After splitting from husband Mike Comrie, Hillary Duff isn't so sure another marriage is in her future -- although a second child just might be.
"I don't want to say I wouldn't get married again, but it's not important to me. I don't feel I would need to be married to have another child. If I felt strongly enough toward someone or if someone felt strongly about it, I might say OK," the star told Redbook in 2015. "But it's not essential."
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Though her love life became infamous after divorcing once at 24 and again at 32, Kim Kardashian has never been one to get down about the future.
"I've always been the type to fall in love fast and, with every boyfriend, I plan out my wedding in my head. It's taught me to take things slow," the woman who went on to marry Kanye West and welcome two children with him said previously.
"Anyone would want to move on and take the lesson learned from it. I loved this person, it just wasn't the right situation for me. I try to hold my head up high and live my life."
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After marrying in 2000 and welcoming son Ryder in 2004, Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson called it quits in 2007.
After her divorce she explained, "I am 31, I already have one child, and have had one divorce, so it is not necessarily the golden ticket. I just want to be happy."
In 2010 she began dating Muse frontman Matthew Bellamy, and though they became engaged and welcomed son Bingham together, the pair split in late 2014.
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After 11 years of marriage Courteney Cox and David Arquette called it quits in October of 2010.
"I'm a homebody -- I don't really like to go out," the actress, who is mom to daughter Coco, said two years later. "I love restaurants, I love to have people over to my house. But I'm not really one to do a lot of stuff -- so I don't know how that all that happens... that part's a little difficult."
In June 2014 it was revealed Courteney accepted a marriage proposal from Snow Patrol band member Johnny McDaid, but before the close of 2015 they called the engagement off.
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"It's a completely different world, and I'm sure that every single parent who finds themselves eventually dating again would also agree that it is just weird and exciting but strange," Kate Gosselin, the mother of eight who infamously split from husband Jon Gosselin after sharing their lives on reality television, said in late 2015.
"I'll tell you what's even stranger -- I have 15-year-olds who are on the very verge of beginning to date, and I now find myself beginning to date," she added. "I think [Jon and I] are in a really good place. The kids are doing well and they're thriving."
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Giada De Laurentiis hasn't been quite sure how to go about finding love again after her 2015 split fashion designer Todd Thompson.
"I haven't been in that game since I was 18 years-old," the mother of one said in 2015. "So it's a very different game when you're 45 with a child and a career."
But when asked about dating apps and the rest of the technology that sprung up during her 12-year marriage, the chef said coyly, "I don't do any of that, and I would say that uh…it's ok that maybe I don't need to date so much because maybe I already have someone I like and I don't have to."
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"You sort of feel like you just got out of prison," funnyman Louis C.K. said in 2010 after his 2008 split from longtime wife Alix Bailey, with whom he shares two children. "And they give you the suit you were convicted in. And they give you a paper bag with a watch and a wallet in it. And they give you eight bucks and a bus ticket and the cars are going way too fast and you can't cross the street -- and you're considering going into a motel and hanging yourself after carving your initials.
"And you know, there's not a lot of women my age who're single. If they're single it's because something happened -- or didn't happen -- so I started immediately dating women who were younger than me. That's a very strange dynamic. And from their point of view, it's like they're dating a dead person. It's like a corpse. That's how I see myself through their eyes."
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"There are two ways you can go: You can either nurture yourself or go destructive. I have gone down the destructive path before, and that didn't work for me," Katy Perry said in 2013 while opening up about recovering from her split with Russell Brand.
"You dig deep beyond those scars and find that soft tissue again, and you massage and nurture it and bring it to life, little by little, through serving yourself well. I did it through hikes and vitamins and therapy and prayer and good friends."
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Brandi Glanville is no stranger to having her personal life make tabloid headlines, thanks to her drama-filled 2009 split from husband Eddie Cibrian and continual feuding with his second wife, LeAnn Rimes.
"I don't really 'date,'" Brandi, who shares two sons with her ex, insisted in 2012. "What is that? I make out! It's hard to meet guys because they want to date you because you are on TV, or there are guys who like you but don't want anything to do with you because you are on TV. It's a hard road."
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Zooey Deschanel also insisted she wasn't up for seeing anyone after ending her two-year marriage to Death Cab for Cutie frontman Ben Gibbard in 2011.
One year later she said in an interview, "Honestly, I’m just going through a divorce, so I don’t really think that’s something I want to get into now. I don’t have time to date. I literally –- don’t-have-time."
Things did eventually settle however, and in 2015 the actress confirmed her engagement to producer Jacob Pechenik. The pair welcomed a daughter named Elsie Otter that July, and it was revealed they had married before their baby's birth.
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Eva Longoria, who was married to basketball player Tony Parker from 2007 to 2011, first thought about post-divorce dating before calling it quits.
The former Desperate Housewives star shared in 2012, "I remember a friend of mine got divorced right before me when it wasn't even on my radar to be divorced and I go, 'How exciting! Aren't you excited? You get to date people, you get to have a first kiss, a first date, a first sex with somebody. Isn't that great? It's gonna be fun!'
"And she was like, 'No, I'm terrified.' I'm like, 'Why?' She's beautiful, she's gorgeous, she's smart. And then when I got divorced, she was like, 'Aren't you excited?' And I was like, 'No, f*** you! Don't give me my advice!'"
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"Pretty much my life exists right this second, and my boys are the first thing I think of [in the morning], the last thing I think of at night, and past relationships with famous people or not famous people, with good people, with bad people, with tortured, confused people – every relationship has served a purpose in my life," Sheryl Crow, who famously was engaged to Lance Armstrong until 2006, said in 2014. One year after their split she adopted the first of her two sons on her own.
She went on to share that "the story I always told was that I’d do what was expected: I’d fall in love, I’d get married, I’d have a happy home, I’d have kids. Everything would be served up in that order. And that story you tell about yourself can be the very story that limits you. Letting go of what it is your life is supposed to look like sometimes is the most liberating moment you will ever have.”
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"I feel I know now more of what I need in a relationship, what I want in a relationship," Scarlett Johansson, who divorced Ryan Reynolds in 2011, has shared.
"And I know I have more tools to communicate, not just with my partner, but with myself. That’s not necessarily any reflection of who I was married to or what was happening in my marriage, but really where I was in my life."
The actress welcomed daughter Rose in 2014, a few short months before marrying Frenchman Romain Dauriac.
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Before getting engaged to Jason Sudeikis and becoming mom to their son Otis, Olivia Wilde spent eight years as the wife of filmmaker Tao Ruspoli.
"I had grown up with Tao; we had just drifted...I felt I had something to prove," she said in 2013 of their parting ways.
"If you fall off a horse, you get back up. I am not a quitter," the actress continued. "I hung on for as long as possible, until it was more hurtful to stay…I’m so grateful for the pain and the heartbreak. It gave me the courage to leave and brought me to the great love of my life."
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