It’s not easy for some parents to set boundaries after giving birth. When blogger and first time mom Laura Grace Weldon of Geek Mom welcomed her baby, she confessed to making the mistake of allowing visitors within the first week postpartum.
She wrote about that blunder on Popsugar, after she and her husband allowed his Grandmother to visit their baby three days after being born.
“I was also exhausted and overwhelmed, as many first-time postpartum moms can be. We wait three-quarters of a year to see the baby we’ve been gestating. Plus we’re dealing with sore nipples, interrupted sleep, and estrogen levels that drop 100- to 1,000-fold in the first week after giving birth. I knew plenty of other new mothers who thrived on connecting soon after birth. Not me. I wasn’t feeling remotely sociable,” she wrote.
Even though she didn’t feel up to having company, Laura relented. She said that when her husband’s Grandmother arrived and leaned over to give their new baby a kiss on the cheek, it melted her heart.
But, that feeling was short lived. Laura went on to express her discontent when the sweet older woman “snatched him” out of her arms and refused to give him back, after the child began fussing. So she jumped into mama bear mode and told her,
“I need that baby back RIGHT NOW,” I said, “or I can’t be responsible for what I’ll say.”
While Laura admits that she could have handled the situation differently, she didn’t appear to have any regrets. Honestly, I can’t really blame her because I probably would have reacted the same way in that situation.
However, I do think it’s important to communicate your feelings early on. Laura did mention that the grandmother ignored her plea, but it’s unclear when or how the message was delivered.
That said, I’ve actually been in Laura’s shoes, and understand how exciting it is for families and friends to meet a newborn baby.
When my husband and I were expecting our first child, we didn’t wait to set boundaries. Our intentions were clear prior to delivery day.
We politely asked friends and family to give us some time to get acclimated before visiting our home. However, we did welcome everyone to visit us in the hospital, which actually worked out better for some folks.
The bottom line is there’s nothing wrong with politely setting ground rules when visiting your newborn. At first I wondered if it would turn people off, but they understood and had no issues complying.
As far as Laura is concerned, I’m sure Grandma forgave the tongue lashing.
How did you set boundaries after giving birth?
CommentsPhoto credit: Thinkstock
Stacy-Ann Gooden (aka Weather Anchor Mama) can be seen delivering the weather forecast on the news in New York City. But her most important role is being a wife and mom. She writes about balancing career and motherhood in her blog, Weather Anchor Mama. You can also follow her on twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.
