It’s no secret; kids say whatever is on their minds. My 5-year-old daughter is notorious for blurting out comments that often leave us dying with laughter or cringing with embarrassment. Here are six examples of some of the most awkward things my 5-year-old has said.
“My butt is sweating. I can’t stop thinking about it!”
It was a hot summer day. We were outside waiting in line to enter an exhibit when our daughter Princess said the awkward comment.
It was loud enough for everyone around us to hear, and I was too embarrassed to look up at people’s reactions. My husband assured her that everyone there felt the same way, and that we were just moments away from entering the air conditioned room.
“That’s gross. Look, the little girl is picking up her dress with her mouth.”
Within minutes of her “sweaty butt” comment, she followed up with this statement. It’s pretty clear that Princess hasn’t yet developed a filter. She pretty much says whatever comes to mind at any given moment.
The little girl she was referring to stood directly in front of us. I’m sure her parents heard every word, and I felt bad. On the one hand, I can understand why this little girl decided to pick up her dress. That was probably her way of cooling off. On the other hand, I understand why Princess made the comment. I’m always telling her not to show her underwear in public, and she may have said the remark as a result.
“Don’t worry about what she’s doing. Let her parents worry about it. And you’re not aloud to do that,” I told her.
“That’s disgusting. I would never do that,” she replied. I knew I had to end the conversation there because there was no telling what she’d say next.
“Those kids are rude. They’re not sharing.”
Later that same day, we were waiting in line at another exhibit when Princess announced that the kids ahead of us took too long. Each person got a turn at flying a pretend aircraft. Needless to say, she was eager to get a crack at it.
I’m not sure if the kids understood what she said because they were speaking a different language. They were so focused on the aircraft, and didn’t seem phased by her comments.
“I think that’s a girl.”
My husband and I decided to take the kids out for ice cream. As we waited on line, our daughter noticed one of the servers behind the counter and shouted, “I think that’s a girl.” We were taken by surprise and didn’t know what to say at first. Then I responded, “I think she is, but you don’t want to hurt her feelings.”
“But she is. I know she’s a girl.” She went on to describe how people could mistake her for a boy. I’m pretty sure the young lady heard every word, but pretended that she didn’t.
“That’s a wig.”
I usually get pretty embarrassed whenever Princess makes one of her awkward remarks. But in this case, I laughed so hard I cried.
She was invited to visit a modeling agency. Prior to the meeting, I told her that the agent would ask her questions about school and some of her favorite hobbies.
When we arrived, I thought that she somehow got cold feet. But out of nowhere she leaned over to the agent and whispered loudly, “That’s a wig. My mom is wearing a wig, but nobody knows.” We all had a big belly laugh and the meeting went smoothly.
“But sometimes I see you texting”
A cop recently pulled me over while my daughter and I were on our way to dance class. I asked him what I did wrong and he proceeded to tell me that I had my phone in my hand while driving. Even though I wasn’t on the phone or texting at the time, he said that the “phone should never be in your hand while driving at all.”
At that moment my daughter hijacked conversation. “But sometimes I see you texting,” she blurted out.
My face got hot and my palms got sweaty. I was already feeling nervous about the traffic stop. The last thing I needed was for my 5-year-old to throw me under the bus.
The two actually developed a bond, and the officer let me off with a warning.
As parents, we’ve all experienced moments like this when we wish we could erase some of the things our children say. There are moments when I want to crawl under a rock. And there are times when I can’t stop laughing at some of the awkward comments. We continue to teach her about that fine line, and how some of her remarks can sometimes hurt peoples feelings.
Despite it all, I appreciate my daughter’s unfiltered honesty. I also love her quick wit. She has a knack for breaking the ice and getting us out of tough situations.
What are some of the most awkward things your kids have said?
CommentsPhotos: Stacy-Ann Gooden
Stacy-Ann Gooden (aka Weather Anchor Mama) can be seen delivering the weather forecast on the news in New York City. But her most important role is being a wife and mom. She writes about balancing career and motherhood in her blog, Weather Anchor Mama. You can also follow her on twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.
