My kids have embarrassed me more times than I care to remember.
There was that one time when we were on the bus and my youngest waved her hand in the general direction of my face and said with a grimace, “Mom, your freckles are really yucky.” Then there was the day at preschool when she pointed to another mom’s midsection and said in the booming voice that kids seem to save for awkward moments: “Look! There’s a baby in there!” (Spoiler alert: No, there wasn’t.) And of course the time she saw a little person at the bookstore and exclaimed, eyes wide with glee, “He’s like from Snow White!”
All of those were cringe-inducing, but the worst, most mortifying moment came when my youngest was around 3 years old, shortly after I’d had a very basic, preschool-level talk with her about her body and private parts. She had a few questions, but had taken it in stride, or so I thought. Then a week or so later we were lined up for a visit with Santa at the mall and she randomly announced, “Mommy, you do NOT touch your vagina in front of Santa!”
As though she felt the need to remind me. You know, just in case.
Kind of takes “I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus” to a whole new, disturbing level, doesn’t it? I could have died.
Having been through the worst of it, I absolutely cracked up when I came across a Reddit post this week that asked, “What is the most embarrassing thing your toddler has ever said to a complete stranger?” Not surprisingly, the responses were amazing.
Here are some of my favorites – along with a few more embarrassing confessions from our very own BabyCenter bloggers.
You couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried.
That first one had me in tears because it reminded me that my oldest daughter also went through a toddler phase of pointing at every man we saw and asking, “That my dada?” And then there was the brief period where she’d sing to the tune of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” but use only the word “beer.” Beer beer beer beer beer beer beer. Honestly, I have no idea. But it’s safe to say I didn’t come out of that one looking very good.
It just goes to show – yet again – that parenting is nothing if not humbling.
Whitney Barthel found these hilarious toddler quotes in the BabyCenter community:
Photo: REX USA, MorgueFile, ThinkStock, iStock
