A rainbow can follow even the most thunderous of storms, which is why the phrase “rainbow baby” seems like such a perfect way to describe a child welcomed after a loss.
Light after darkness, hope after despair.
Like so many parents, Michigan mom Cathy Matthews sadly knows firsthand what it’s like to build up hopes and dreams for a baby on the way, only to suddenly have to say goodbye. Expecting their second child in 2015, Cathy says she and her husband Matt were left heartbroken when she miscarried.
“I did a lot of research on miscarriages and they are so common,” she told PEOPLE. “It made me feel better that I wasn’t alone, but it didn’t make it any easier to grieve. I looked up a lot of resources and articles and quotes to help me get through the grieving process. That’s when I discovered the term ‘rainbow babies.’ It’s just a great way to kind of say… I guess it says a lot in that phrase.”
It wasn’t long before Cathy discovered she was pregnant again. Overjoyed by the news, she also couldn’t help but be nervous.
“It was a surreal feeling,” she says. “Everyday felt like I was walking on eggshells.”
Fortunately, the pregnancy went well and nine months later, Cathy and Matt welcomed a healthy baby – a girl!
“They put her on my chest and I just burst into tears,” she recalls.
When it came time for baby Charlotte’s first photo shoot, Cathy decided to incorporate the “rainbow” theme, a request that local photographer Jen Priester was happy to accommodate. “I chose to have [the rainbow] start from earth to Heaven to show a receiving of God’s faithfulness,” Jen revealed, sharing the sweet shots to her Facebook page.
Photo by Jen Priester Photography (web site/Facebook)
Photo by Jen Priester Photography (web site/Facebook)
Photo by Jen Priester Photography (web site/Facebook)
The photos have been liked and shared online thousands of times in the weeks since Jen posted them, and they’ve prompted other mothers to tell their own very personal stories of loss and love.
“This is so beautiful, I truly understand,” writes one mom. “I have my rainbow baby he will be 2 this year, before him I had 4 miscarriage[s], my world was so dark [and] when I gave up the Good Lord sent me my rainbow.”
“This picture is beautiful,” adds another. “I never heard the term ‘rainbow baby.’ I have a daughter, lost my son and then had two more daughters. I love my daughters with all my heart but even 41 years later I think about my son every day. I’ll always wonder what he would have been like.”
The community of parents who have suffered the loss of a pregnancy is large – according to BabyCenter, 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. These moms and dads are left to mourn not only the end of a pregnancy, but of every moment and milestone that should have followed.
With the little girl they lost forever in their hearts, Cathy and Matt – and big brother Cameron, too – are thankful for their family’s new addition.
“[Cameron] refers to her as ‘my baby.’ He says, ‘Is my baby crying?’ ‘Is my baby sleeping?’ ‘Where did you put my baby?'” Cathy says, adding, “We’re incredibly grateful for the family that we have and try not to take that for granted.”
Thanks to the Matthews family for telling their story, and to Jen Priester for sharing her photos of baby Charlotte. Be sure to visit her web site and follow her on Facebook to see more of her work.
BabyCenter has Community groups and resources for families who have gone through a miscarriage.
These celebrities have welcomed “rainbow babies” after struggling through loss:
Hugh Jackman and wife Deborra-Lee Furness struggled with infertility before adopting their son and daughter.
"We did IVF and Deb had a couple of miscarriages," the actor previously shared. "And it was actually, I’ll never forget it — the miscarriage thing is also — apparently it happens to one in three pregnancies. But it’s very rarely talked about. It’s almost secretive, you know? So I hope Deb doesn’t mind me bringing it up now.”
He went on to say, "There’s a grieving that you have to go through. So the moment Oscar was born, you know, all the heartache just melted away. And… you can’t prepare for that moment. Nothing can prepare you… You can’t even explain how incredible it is and that avalanche of emotion that comes and how it opens up your heart, how it frustrates you, how it angers you, how… alive you are as a parent.”
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Though fairly private about her personal life, Courteney Cox opened up in 2003 about the multiple miscarriages she's experienced.
"I get pregnant pretty easily, but I have a hard time keeping them,” the actress said at the time. In June of 2004 she gave birth to daughter Coco.
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Christie Brinkley has suffered a loss multiple times. She shared previously, "After the first miscarriage, I tried to take the attitude that it was my body's way of telling me that this pregnancy wasn't meant to be, and that it was better for everybody. But after the second one, it was really devastating. Four months is a lot of living with that little life in you -- thinking about it, eating right for it, nurturing it and all of a sudden, it dies. After the second one, we decided to try in vitro, because both Peter and I felt we couldn't handle another failure."
"We thought: Let's let the best of science try it for us. When I miscarried after that, we had to come to terms with the possibility that this wasn't meant to be. It's just amazing that two months later I got pregnant again."
After these losses Christie was eventually able to give birth to daughter Sailor.
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Sharon Stone opened up about her experience with loss in 2012 by sharing, "The last time I lost the baby…I went into 36 hours of labor. While we were at the hospital, our adoption attorney called. I thought, ‘This is such a godsend. This is so right.'"
She's now the mother of three sons. The actress welcomed Roan, Laird, and Quinn into the family via adoption.
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It wasn't until Pink had safely welcomed daughter Willow into the world she felt comfortable about opening up about a previous loss.
In late 2010 the singer talked about going public with news of her pregnancy by sharing, "I was just really nervous. I have had a miscarriage before."
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Lisa Marie Presley spoke about losing a pregnancy early in her marriage to Michael Lockwood.
"I really wanted these babies," she said in 2009. "My blood was too thick and would clot, which caused several miscarriages. The moment I took blood thinners, I got pregnant."
Their twin daughters, Harper and Finley, were born in 2008.
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In late 2010 Lisa Ling revealed she had suffered a miscarriage earlier in the year.
"We actually [hadn't] been trying that long," she said while appearing on The View. "I don't know that I took it as seriously as I should have because [the pregnancy] happened so fast. But then when I heard the doctor say there was no heartbeat it was like—bam—like a knife through the heart."
She and husband Paul Song went on to welcome a daughter, Jett Ling, in 2013.
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Lily Allen continues to talk about the loss of her first child. In late 2010 she experienced complications early in her pregnancy, including "about a week and a half of really heavy bleeding." Six months into her pregnancy, the singer contracted a viral infection which caused her to suffer a stillbirth. She was later admitted to a hospital, where she responded well to treatment for septicaemia.
Along with a song she wrote for him, she recently shared, "It’s something that I still haven’t dealt with. I will never get over it. I have dealt with it, you know as being at one with it … [B]ut it’s not something that you get over. I held my child and it was really horrific and painful – one of the hardest things that can happen to a person.”
In 2011 Lily's daughter Ethel arrived, and her daughter Marnie was born in early 2013.
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Jack Osbourne and wife Lisa Stelly suffered a devastating loss in September 2013, when she miscarried the child they were expecting. The baby boy, whom they planned to name Theo, would have been their daughter Pearl's little brother.
In June 2015 they welcomed a second daughter, and chose the name Andy Rose for her.
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Nicole Kidman spoke about her fertility troubles in 2012 by saying, "I had tried and failed and failed and failed. Not to be too detailed, but I’ve had an ectopic pregnancy, miscarriages and I’ve had fertility treatments. I’ve done all the stuff you can possibly do to try get pregnant."
The actress is mom to two adopted children, daughter Sunday Rose whom she gave birth to, and daughter Faith Margaret who was born via surrogate.
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While undergoing IVF treatments that eventually led to the birth of twins Nelson and Eddy in 2010, Celine Dion shared openly, "They said that I was pregnant, and a couple of days after, we were not pregnant again. We didn't want to feel like we were playing yo-yo. 'I'm pregnant. I'm not pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm not pregnant.' So we didn't want to do this thing. But we did have a miscarriage...I never gave up. But I can tell you that it was physically and emotionally exhausting."
She and husband René Angélil are also parents to son René-Charles.
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Mariah Carey has only briefly opened up about her experience with miscarriage.
"It kind of shook us both and took us into a place that was really dark and difficult. When that happened ... I wasn't able to even talk to anybody about it,” the singer has said. “That was not easy."
Nick Cannon, her husband at the time, shared "She was so festive and smiling, obviously for the cameras, and spending time with everyone -- and then, literally, at night, [she was] crying herself to sleep."
The pair went on to welcome twins Moroccan and Monroe in 2011.
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Giuliana Rancic has experienced loss in a variety of ways. After undergoing IVF she miscarried in 2010 at 9 weeks along.
"It was several months of guilt and sadness," she has said previously. "And finally, I think we just came together and we said, 'There's got to be a bigger plan here, right? There has got to be a reason.'"
While preparing to undergo IVF for a third time the former E! News host was told she had breast cancer. After a double mastectomy, the couple turned to surrogacy. Edward Duke Rancic was born on August 29, 2012.
In 2015 their surrogate miscarried the last of their embryos while the couple were trying to welcome a little brother or sister for Duke.
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Regarding her experience undergoing IVF and suffering a miscarriage, Brooke Shields said, "We were crushed. Up till then, I thought simply because it was time and I wanted to have a baby, it would work out."
She went on to give birth to daughters Rowan and Grier.
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Shortly after Beyonce and Jay-Z welcomed daughter Blue Ivy Carter in 2012, the first-time father opened up about his wife's previous miscarriage. In a song for his daughter he revealed, "Last time the miscarriage was so tragic/We was afraid you’d disappear/But nah, baby, you magic."
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Kirstie Alley wrote in her 2005 book about her only pregnancy, sharing, "When the baby was gone, I just didn't really get over it. Neither did my body. I so thoroughly convinced my body that it was still pregnant after nine months that I had milk coming from my breasts. I was still fat, I was still grieving, and I had just been told it was very possible I would never be able to have children. Fat, childless, with little hope for any future children...that's when I began to get fat."
The actress later went on to adopt two children. Her son is named William, and her daughter is Lillie.
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